The tension between her desire to participate in this long-standing tradition and the need to forge new customs for her own family became the driving force behind Wedded Wife.
Rachael Lennon has always been drawn to history, particularly the untold stories and hidden narratives that shape our understanding of the present. In her book Wedded Wife: A Feminist History of Marriage, Lennon takes an intimate and expansive look at marriage as a social institution, tracing its evolution and examining how it continues to shape our lives today.
For Lennon, who married her wife in 2017 just a few years after same-sex marriage was legalized in the UK, this history is deeply personal. “Marrying a woman meant that the expectations and templates that came with proposals, wedding planning, and ‘traditional’ gendered roles just didn’t fit,” Lennon explains to me from her home in Durham, England. “It was a challenge–and it was very liberating.”
The tension between her desire to participate in this long-standing tradition and the need to forge new customs for her own family became the driving force behind Wedded Wife. By intertwining historical research with her own experiences as a bi woman, Lennon challenges readers to question the narratives they’ve inherited and to consider how marriage might be redefined for a more inclusive, diverse future.
Throughout her book, Lennon shines a light on people too often erased from the historical record, particularly those in same-sex relationships.
Throughout her book, Lennon shines a light on people too often erased from the historical record, particularly those in same-sex relationships. “Marriage is the most personal of public institutions,” she shares. “It felt right to explore this history through the lens of my own story.” By centering her own experience as a bi woman, she provides a framework for understanding marriage’s contradictions—its power to oppress, and its capacity to liberate. She delves into the ways marriage has been used to subjugate women and exclude those who defy gender and sexual norms, while also recognizing its enduring significance as a personal and political act.
“I consciously included the word ‘bisexual’ in Wedded Wife,” she reveals. “If you’re a woman married to a woman, people assume that you must identify as lesbian. I see ‘lesbian weddings’ used as an umbrella term for same-sex weddings like mine.” By unapologetically naming her identity, Lennon pushes back against the societal tendency to erase bisexuality, both in history and contemporary discourse.
What makes Wedded Wife such a compelling read is Lennon’s ability to reclaim the history of marriage as part of queer history. “Queer lives have been so deeply hidden from record–but we have always been here,” she explains. “Marriage has existed in almost every society known to recorded history, but models of marriage have been so different that there is no one definition of ‘traditional’ marriage,” Lennon continues. She points out that multi-party marriage was once common in many major religions, and that same-sex marriages have existed across cultures long before European Christian colonialism imposed restrictive definitions.
This diversity is a hopeful sign. “We tend to inherit very narrow definitions and templates, but history tells us that marriage has always been enormously diverse,” she declares. While the legal recognition of same-sex marriage in many countries was a major step forward in recent history, she argues that it shouldn’t be seen as the final destination. Instead, she invites readers to imagine possibilities for relationships, family structures, and commitments outside of rigid, state-sanctioned norms.
“History gives us license to forge our own way,” Lennon says. And with Wedded Wife, she is helping to ensure that the next generation does just that.
Wedded Wife: A Feminist History of Marriage is available in bookstores and online. You can purchase it here.
