A world all about us guys and what’s left over like trees, flowers, tigers, owls, whales, eagles and anything else buzzing...
What We Do Best
A world all about us guys
and what’s left over like trees,
flowers, tigers, owls, whales,
eagles and anything else
buzzing and screeching out
there can’t drive a car, work
the night shift or shoot a
Glock, might as well shove
off. And if they put up
a fuss or won’t go peaceable-
like, we’ll show them what
pain’s all about, cause pains
our pride and joy, our religion,
our rough and ready reason
to live. Pain’s our main course
and we serve it piping hot, bloody
red and 24 hours a day, buddy boy.
How much you looking for?
Windows
Windows are extremely temperamental, often flying off the handle at the slightest provocation. Once I surprised a window sitting on a garden bench. Why are you windows so difficult to understand? I asked quite sincerely. The window squirmed in discomfort, obviously wanting to flee. Before taking off, though, it responded—We’re tired of the view.
Flying with a Giant Head
The average head weighs
11 pounds, except when
35 thousand feet over
Nebraska stuck in the middle
seat, in coach, heading to
the coast. And you hadn’t
slept a wink the night
before because you suffered
an attack of jitters from
those years piling up like
snow drifting over barbed
wire. Then you’d been
dozing, your head flopping
up and down until you
were startled by the sensation
that your head is very heavy.
It now feels like an 80-pound
head. An 80-pound head!
So, you panic and wave
frantically at the stewardess
who rushes over and who,
after you inform her of the
situation, the one about your
head, calls the Captain who
roars out of the cockpit,
demanding to know who has
an 80-pound head! Who is it?
That’s when you know you’re
in real trouble, that your head
has become an unsolvable
problem until another passenger
yells out, I’ve got one too!
