How the Irish Saved Civilization

Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland.

But truth be told, he wasn’t even Irish;

born in Wales to Roman parents,

his name was really Maewyn Succat

and he first came to Erin as a slave,

escaped, became a Christian, gave

himself the Irish name of Patrick,

didn’t rid the Emerald Isle of snakes,

and wasn’t ever canonized a saint.

So how did Maewyn Succat get to be

the patron saint of Ireland?

The story goes that Patrick much

enjoyed his uisce beatha. The “water

of life.” Is it any wonder, then,

why the Irish readily adopted him

and honor him today as patron saint?

Screw the snakes, the Romans,

sainthood, and a made-up name.

Let’s lift a glass of Jameson’s,

a Redbreast, or a Tullamore Dew

to Patrick and the wearin’ o’the green.