The Hurl of Sandwich
Much to the frustration of U.S. Attorney Pirro: While this ex-Fox News hack is a total zero, To the resistance, our sandwich hurler is a hero!
Besieged inhabitants of Washington
Outraged by the wannabe Napoleon
Oppose the capital’s invasion
And District’s military occupation,
Washingtonians prefer autonomy
They are against making D.C.
Look like an occupied federal colony.
“I don’t want you in my city!”
Shouted one valiant volunteer.
“You fucking fascists! Why are you here?”
Asked upstanding, outraged Sean Dunn,
He came armed, but unlike ICE, not bearing a gun
This angry Capital city resident
Didn’t need no Second Amendment
Because to fight for the American Way
Citizen Sean had gone to Subway.
Dunn threw his sandwich at a CBP agent;
D.C.’s U.S. Attorney vowed to make Sean repent.
Twenty armed Marshals and G-Men went
To nab the culprit at his apartment,
Onto X scurried enraged Judge Jeanine
In order to vent her spleen,
Determined to make Mr. Dunn pay,
This is what Trump’s appointee had to say:
“He doesn’t think it’s funny today
Because we charged him with a felony!”
But the grand jury thought that was baloney
The jurors wouldn’t go along and bite,
For assaulting a police officer, they would not indict
The protester for his footlong’s flight.
The charge was lowered to misdemeanor
Customs and Border Patrol is just a wiener.
On November 6 a jury found Sean not guilty
Of assault (and pepper), so you see
Our man Dunn
Has not been undone
By all the hubbub
Caused by his tossing a sub.
Judge Jeanine may be a wicked witch;
But Sean Dunn is the Earl of Sandwich,
Much to the frustration of U.S. Attorney Pirro:
While this ex-Fox News hack is a total zero,
To the resistance, our sandwich hurler is a hero!
